The One Thing You Have to Give Up to Be Successful

What do you think all successful people have in common? Hard work. Tenacity. Focus. What if I told you the answer is nothing? Sounds ridiculous. But it’s true. Because their success is literally just that: Theirs. How often do you find yourself comparing your goals or accomplishments to others around you? That is a terrible metric to judge yourself off of. Because the two journeys will never be the same.
So often people set expectations for themselves based on other people’s versions of success. “Well this person has this and they’re successful so when I have that too, I will be successful as well.” But that’s impossible. When you look at Beyoncé and you look at Elon Musk, one could concur that they are both pretty successful at different things. But do you see what they do have in common? A path that is strictly for them. A life defined by their own definition of success.
Have you ever heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy?” I, myself, have been guilty of this before. As a young 20-something, living in a social media-driven world where everyone’s accomplishments and wins are broadcast all over the internet it can be hard not to compare sometimes. You see someone who you deem similar to you and you wonder why you just aren’t there yet. The truth is, as long as you spend time comparing yourself or measuring your success based on standards someone else has set for themselves, you will lose. Every time.
To be successful, the first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself. Find your truth. Are you doing what you’re doing because you want to or because your parents want you to? Do you enjoy that job and want to grow in that industry or are you just paid better than a lot of your peers? Is your driving focus what’s best for you or what looks best to others? If the answer is the latter, I have one thing to tell you. You will never be successful. Because those standards of success do not belong to you. Secondly, whatever ideas of success you have that you learned from someone else? Give them up. The truth is a lot of people are unhappy and unsuccessful because what they’re seeking is not for them. You’re unhappy because instead of walking in your path you’re trying to fit shoes that don’t belong to you. Success isn’t all about numbers and measurables. But it is about growth and being better than the day before. Just remember the only person you are in competition with is yourself.
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life so far is that I am the only person responsible for myself and my happiness. Seems simple yet so many people let that go over their heads. They live for others and wonder why they feel like they are trying to reach a forever moving goal post. Take a good look in the mirror and think about what your truth is. If it’s smaller than what others have imagined for you? That’s okay. It fills your world. If it expands beyond any box anyone has ever tried to fit you into? Even better. But it all starts within.
Remember, even baby steps move you forward. So do just that. Start with the basics of what you want. Your values. Your strengths. Your interests. Then work your way up. Eventually, you’ll look back down and see that you wouldn’t be where you are without that path and the only person who could’ve taken that journey is you.

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