I Was a Feral Child. Mom Kept Me on a Leash.

Reflections on a hard-to-tame childhood.

I saw a Quora question, “What is the smartest thing you did as a small child?”

The answers were adorable, goofy, and very clever. All of these doctors, lawyers, and scientists were relaying accounts of their early brilliance.

One man mentioned how he’d been at a crosswalk with his mother.

His mom said she was pounding the walk button and, at five years old, he said, “Mom, you only need to press it once. It already knows. OK?”

I got curious and asked my mom, “Did I do anything smart as a kid?”

My ego hoped she’d relay some impressive story of me doing algebra as a toddler.

She said, “Well. You didn’t talk much. We thought you were autistic for a while. And sometimes you got bored and hit your sister.”

Sounds like she was super impressed.

The answer didn’t surprise me. I have this entire feral chapter of my life that I can’t remember.

But mom sure loves to tell everyone about it.

When I say feral child, I’m don’t mean “Raised by wolves.”

It’s an informal term for kids who flail on the ground, screaming, shooting snot on strangers, not listening to any authority figures, carrying on with the disruptive force of an earthquake.

Evolution wired us to hate (reject) feral children. If they aren’t yours, they pose a risk — that you’ll fall in love with them.

Unruly children are resource-intensive. They take exponentially more effort to fix if they haven’t been well socialized.

Raising such a child could endanger your ability to provide for your own children. Your revulsion is your DNA intervening, saying, “This kid is work. Run.”

I was feral.

Fortunately, my mom loved (and still loves) me immensely and I survived. But I had to be put on a leash for a while.

The incident that precipitated the leash was at the airport. I was around 2 and my mom and I were…

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