Limit

I live outside my comfort zone.

I know that my kind of comfort zone is different to your kind of comfort zone. But I still consider the life that I live right now is not for everyone.
I’m living abroad, by myself, working in the different field to my major and interest, making a living with my 3rd language.

It’s madness.

I’m not saying it’s a good thing to live with all those difficulties in a long term. No, in fact, it stresses me out. It gives me anxiety. I never had anxiety before. But deep down I understand that it’s my time to grow. There are many times that I wanted to stop right away, heck, I already made my own resignation letter.

But I keep delaying it because I found myself is getting used to this kind of pressure. I still hate this pressure though. I still dread every morning, let alone Monday morning.

One thing that gives me relief is: I give the limit.

I know I shouldn’t be here forever, I know that this is temporary situation before I run towards a better life that more align with my value. This would be in the near future.

The limit.

But I understand that it’s just matter of time when I hit a solid wall and it can happen few days or a few weeks from now because, in the end, I need to admit that this job is too difficult for me, even for experienced people from the same field. (I work in B2B Digital Marketing company that offer Database and Marketing Automation, I know, what kind of bullshit it is)

And since I already passed my own limits, I don’t mind if tomorrow I have to go home, back to my own country or move to another country, because I know,

I already grow passed my own limit.

Should I stop before everything is getting worse?

or

Should I keep going?

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