Explosions of anger.

I hailed a share auto to office a couple of days back as I regularly do, and something about the ride made me write this post. It was rather a catalyst for me to put down my thoughts about an emotion, which, interestingly, can keep us alive & kicking and, at the same time, has the potential to destroy us — anger.

We were waiting at a traffic signal. A man who seemed to be a fellow share-auto driver came up to our driver, and started picking up a random fight about him needing some 200 bucks. They seemed to know each other and he kept bickering about how he was broke and needed money. They started having a huge argument and it was holding us up. I was already late and had a thousand things on my mind — and with this added, I got even more frustrated. So, the drivers were angry, I was angry, it was hot outside- you get the picture.

But it was yet another instance for me to realise what’s common knowledge by now: anger, often, is a manifestation or by-product of our own disappointments with life and ourselves.

But I got thinking that there is another kind of anger is not all bad. As mentioned in the opening paragraph, anger in a way is a sign that there’s life in you.

So this post is not about 10 ways to control anger- there are Buzzfeed articles for it- this one is rather a loud rumination of sorts, about when anger is actually good and when it can be destructive. Whether or not you want to control it is up to you.

I would say that anger is good, if, deep down, it has a selfless cause. If the roots of the anger don’t concern oneself, it is to be respected and could be termed “good” anger.

So what kind of anger is selfless? The first example that comes to mind is the sort of anger Bharathiyar had. I am a Mahakavi fan-girl, so excuse me if I seem a bit biased here, but to quote an example, a lot of his anger was directed at the society and people’s senselessness. It had nothing to do with what didn’t happen to him.

He was not angry or upset that he did not get one extra vadai, but he was angry that people around him were stupid. The cause for anger transcends anything material or selfish.

For instance, read “Aayiram Deivangal undendru thedi alayum ariviligaaL” – he calls us “fools” for going in search of a 1000 Gods when “Knowledge” is the only thing that’s divine.

It upsets him and pains him to see people missing things he probably clearly saw back then. People hated him then and now we celebrate him. Whether or not his poems changed things is secondary. But I would respect him because his anger concerned something greater than himself. It stems from a selfless reason.

This sort of anger has the potential to change what’s wrong, for the greater good, and hence, it is to be respected.

We come across many such people even today, they are largely angry with what’s wrong and unfair around them. It may not concern them directly, yet it affects them. You may ask, what’s the point, how is going to change things? But to me it looks like this is the sort of anger at least shows that they are alive- while a lot of us who are unfazed by things around us, as long as they don’t affect us; we come across as dead inside.

Since I said anger for a selfless cause is good, you are probably expecting the reverse here. That, if you are angry for things that concern you, that kind of anger is bad.

But no. I wouldn’t say that. In fact it’s quite natural to be angry if you didn’t get an extra vadai- just that I don’t think this anger is very respectable!

Jokes apart, I would say anger that stems from too much pride and ego is destructive and hence bad. That is neither justifiable or respectable.

“How can he/she say that to me?”

Or “who is he/she to tell me what to do?”

You get the drift. No one needs the Vishwamitrar-type anger. Just because his pride was hurt, he created the Trisanku swargam.

When you put your ego and pride in front of reason and sense, you get angry for all the wrong reasons. That’s not only pointless but not worth anything and can destroy your own peace.

Finally, whatever the “type” of your anger is- good, bad, ugly – it can affect your well being if you go to bed with it. That’s what perhaps results in its manifestations – we take out our anger on other people, especially family. This has to be avoided. Talk to people, or do what it takes get it out of your system.

It’s okay to get angry but not okay to “remain” angry. Resolve and let go.

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